Whether or not one partner is neurotypical and the other has ADHD or both partners have ADHD, you have a relationship with 2 people whose brains work differently. This can set up a common dynamic that creates a vicious cycle of communication that leads to feelings of resentment, anxiety, frustration, and shame. This cycle can lead to ADHD spouse burnout.

A common dynamic that results from the vicious cycle of communication is called the parent-child dynamic, which is another way of saying a poor boundary dynamic.

In today’s world, social media is highlighting ADHD and providing more information (some correct and some not) for individuals to understand this often misunderstood and even discredited complex condition. If you are self identifying with the symptoms of ADHD, you aren’t alone. Many women are becoming aware that they may be living with undiagnosed ADHD.

If you have always felt like something was wrong, or felt different from others but didn’t have the language to articulate why, finding this information might bring a sense of relief. And knowing that you are one of the (too) many women with undiagnosed ADHD is just the first step in your journey of understanding yourself.

For so many years, ADHD was thought to be something only young boys had. Bad behavior in the classroom, impulsivity, hyperactivity, or bad grades were thought to be the only signs. At one point it was actually called a behavior disorder. Behavior is more like a response to some of the symptoms, and it really is all about the brain. Generally, there are differences between boys and girls with ADHD. So understanding girls with ADHD can present differently is important. Once you understand the differences, you will be able to help your daughter if she has been diagnosed with ADHD, or if you are suspicious she might have it.

Marriage isn’t easy by any means. So if you have marriage problems, you are not alone. It is a common human experience. But marriage does take work, all of the time. So how do you overcome marriage problems so the work creates connection?

Here are some things to think about:

There are 4 different communication styles. They are assertive, passive, passive aggressive, and aggressive.

The most effective style of communication is assertiveness. When you are assertive, you are advocating for yourself, while you are advocating for the other person at the same time. This is an open and connecting way of communicating.

It is important to learn about postpartum mood and anxiety disorders because knowledge is often the best defense.  Our society, unfortunately, still stigmatizes these experiences, causing new parents to be afraid to talk about them and seek help.

What does it mean if you have marriage problems your first year of marriage? Well, don’t panic. It is actually normal to have marriage problems in the first year. But here are some things that could be contributing to the conflict.

Postpartum depression is more common than you think. 1 in 5 women struggle with postpartum depression (PPD), 1 in 3 women of color struggle with PPD, and 1 in 10 men struggle with it as well. So it is smart if you are researching your risk for postpartum depression.

To help you out, here are some things to think about:

Living with someone, especially someone you love, who is depressed can be hard. It is hard to watch some you love struggle. It is also hard to be around them because living with a depressed person can make you depressed. Even if you are a generally happy, positive person, it can still happen.

So how can living with a depressed person make you depressed?

Here are a few things to watch out for:

First, I want to acknowledge the struggle of being a single parent. It isn’t easy by any stretch of the imagination. But being a single parent with ADHD brings the struggle to a whole new level.

The idea that ADHD is a disorder isn’t really true. What is true is that a person with ADHD has a brain that works differently than is typical within their culture. So who is the authority on what is “typical” and what isn’t?

As someone diagnosed (later in life) with ADHD and a therapist who specializes in working with adults with ADHD, I am uniquely qualified to answer the question, what is it like having ADHD.

Most people think of ADHD as little boys who have behavior problems, or it comes from bad parenting or too much electronics, or even poor nutrition.

But it is really a neurodevelopmental difference that is about 75% genetic.