Whether or not one partner is neurotypical and the other has ADHD or both partners have ADHD, you have a relationship with 2 people whose brains work differently. This can set up a common dynamic that creates a vicious cycle of communication that leads to feelings of resentment, anxiety, frustration, and shame. This cycle can lead to ADHD spouse burnout.

A common dynamic that results from the vicious cycle of communication is called the parent-child dynamic, which is another way of saying a poor boundary dynamic.

Marriage isn’t easy by any means. So if you have marriage problems, you are not alone. It is a common human experience. But marriage does take work, all of the time. So how do you overcome marriage problems so the work creates connection?

Here are some things to think about:

There are 4 different communication styles. They are assertive, passive, passive aggressive, and aggressive.

The most effective style of communication is assertiveness. When you are assertive, you are advocating for yourself, while you are advocating for the other person at the same time. This is an open and connecting way of communicating.

What does it mean if you have marriage problems your first year of marriage? Well, don’t panic. It is actually normal to have marriage problems in the first year. But here are some things that could be contributing to the conflict.

Having a baby is a major life transition. So if you are having marriage problems after your first baby, you are not alone. No one is ever really prepared for the reality of becoming a parent. Education is incredibly helpful, but you still don’t know what you are getting into until you are in it.

So here are some tips to help alleviate marriage problems after your first baby.

Start an open dialogue about roles and responsibilities.

There are so many things to keep up with like managing household chores, nighttime feeding, changing, bath time, work, childcare, etc. It may sound funny but if you don’t talk about these things, you are setting yourself up for unnecessary conflict.

What I found for myself and see in my clients who don’t have an open dialogue is built-up resentment. This is due to consciously or unconsciously stepping into roles that were modeled by your parents which may or may not be appropriate for you and your partner today.

When you keep an open dialogue, then you are working together as a team. Collaboratively choosing roles that fit your strengths and interests as well as agreeing on what to let go of or outsourcing if possible will reduce the risk of marriage problems after your first baby.

An open dialogue means you can revisit the conversation if you have more children or as children get older and life changes.

Alcohol addiction is more common than you think and can exist in any marriage. It doesn’t discriminate. So what do you do if you’re dealing with marriage problems caused by alcohol addiction?

First, it is important to recognize that this is a complex situation.

It is not something you will solve just by reading this blog post. However, you will be able to have some understanding of what needs to happen by reading this.

Sometimes talking about certain issues with your partner can be easy. Like, “when and where should we go on vacation?”or “what kind of ice cream should we get at the grocery?” Maybe even, negotiating whose family you will spend the holidays with could be easy. But the real problem happens when you don’t know how to talk about marriage problems without creating more conflict.

This can feel scary, especially if your (and/or your partner’s) communication skills haven’t been so great in the past, or you are newly married and haven’t had much experience with difficult conversations.

Or, one of the bigger reasons why it can be hard to talk about problems is if one or both of you grew up in a house that didn’t promote discussing any problems.